Feb 14 2018
Capturing Memories
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Giving birth is such an intense, intimate experience. It is one of those single moments in a woman’s life that she will never forget. Most women want to preserve those birth memories in some form — whether through photographs, video, or stories from friends who were there for the big moment…
When I was pregnant, it was a struggle for me deciding whether or not I wanted a birth photographer. Sure, I wanted photos taken, but did I want a stranger in my home seeing me naked, with fluids dripping out of my most intimate parts? And how would I react? Would I want the camera on me? Would I even be aware of the photographer? Or would I tell her to get the heck out of my face?
Ultimately, I decided I did, in fact, want a birth photographer present at our home birth. The decision was an easy one when a client (now a good friend) offered to take our birth photos free of charge. We invited a second photographer (the daughter of a close friend) to take photos as well; she isn’t a professional like Kristi, but is a talented student and Kristi was willing to mentor her. The photos they both took left us breathless. I would like to share some of their work here, along with their own personal accounts of Asher’s birth (both of which left Gary and I in tears).
***
Jaya’s Birth Story, Through My Eyes
Haley MacPhail
“Gary Gregory” popped up on my phone while I was driving to target with my roommate. It was around 7pm. A rush of adrenaline ran quickly through my body, and I thought to myself, “Oh shit”. I picked up the phone and in my normal high pitched somethings-happening voice, I answered “Hellooo”? Declan’s sweet voice started speaking, “Um, hi, Haley I just wanted to tell you we think mom’s in labor but wait to come up but just pack your stuff, like now.” He immediately hung up the phone. I took a deep breath and smiled. 20 minutes later my phone rang once more, and it was Declan.
“Um, hi, Haley, mom’s in labor, so you need to come… like now.” I laughed, and said, “Give me 30 minutes, I’ll get up there as fast as I can.”
I was panicked. I was feeling every emotion: excitement, anxiety, adrenaline. It was all there. I hadn’t showered, hadn’t eaten, and had a final presentation the next morning. But those things didn’t matter at all in that moment. I shoved a couple outfits in my bag, grabbed my camera, and yelled goodbye to my roommates. It was about 9 pm, and I stopped by Dutch Bros. Coffee because I knew it would be a long, but incredible night. I wasn’t able to wipe the smile off my face when I told the employees what I was on my way too. They gave me the free coffee, and said “go go go!” The 30 minute drive up there felt like eternity, and it consisted of constantly checking my rear view mirror for police (I wasn’t speeding tooo bad).
When I stepped inside the house, I was immediately greeted by the other photographer and good friend, Kristi. The house was quiet. It felt sacred, and personal. I heard Jaya’s voice in the back, and it had begun. The midwife, Katarra, was on the ground with Jaya, along with that big smile on her face. Next to her was her husband, Gary. On the bed were Jakob and Declan. Declan had the video camera in hand, with nothing but awe and interest glued to his face. Jakob had more of a “holy crap I’m watching my mom give labor what is this” look on his face. But both, you could certainly tell, were beyond excited to be there with their mom.
The next 30 minutes or so were painful, but beautiful. I noticed a couple things that night that I want to mention, because they will stick with me for life. Jaya and Gary have a magical relationship, and the way they handled this birth was beyond me. I was standing and moving about the room while Jaya switched positions about every 5 minutes. In between contractions, Declan would ask a question about birth, whether it be “why is mom yelling so much?” or “are you sure she’s okay?” I did my best to comfort them both, making it known that is a natural process, and that their mom is the strongest of all.
The next thing that happened was only a comment, but one that stuck with me. Jaya was in a lot of pain, pushing in uncomfortable positions, and Gary was by her side the entire time. Now, of course husbands are supposed to do that, and they want to do that, but while I was focusing on Jaya, I was also focusing on Gary.
His eyes never wandered from her, his hand grip never let loose, and the excitement and surprise in his eyes were extraordinary.
As Jaya was finished with another painful contraction, Gary looks at all of us and back down to her, and he says, “Babe, your toes are beautiful”. I released my finger from the shutter, and stared at them. As they gazed into each other’s eyes, I had to hold back tears. Although this was a simple observation, you could tell that the love they have for each other is infinite. We all shared a laugh, and the room was vibrating with positive energy. This painful experience had turned into an enlightening process, one with excitement and laughter.
Jaya sat on the birthing stool, and out came 5lb Asher. I was focused on getting the right angle, and taking all the photos I possibly could. But then it hit me. After a few minutes of getting situated, Gary held this little ball of life in his arms. Next was his momma, on the bed, with Gary, Declan, and Jakob by her side. I felt a hand swipe across my back, and I tried so hard not to let out a stream of tears. But they fell, one by one down my cheek to my neck, while I rubbed my nose and held my hand over my mouth. Asher had come out of Jaya, into the most beautiful family I know. It was magical.
The pain, the blood, the cramps, the cravings, the headaches, and muscle pain, and the anxiety all went away. Disappeared. Into an abyss.
In this moment, that I had the honor to experience, nothing in the world mattered, except that family, on that bed, with a new light in their lives. Thank you Jaya, Gary, Declan, and Jakob for letting me be a part of something so beautiful. I will never forget it.
***
Photographing Jaya’s Birth
Kristi Carlson
Being a photographer is about capturing moments, capturing memories…
Being a photographer for an at home birth is life changing. Intimate, real…
As Jaya labored on the floor, her hands and knees pushed deeply into the covered carpet, her breathing steady and strong, the sounds of labor intense and powerful…energy flowed from each breath, in and out…to her husband who provided continued support through the gentlest of touches and soft whispers of encouragement, to her two boys who watched in amazement at their mother’s incredible strength, to her midwife who was there for her every moment, allowing Jaya to feel her way naturally through the process of birthing her child, to me… the photographer, trying to capture the emotions and life that was flowing within the room. Jaya pushed one last time, her body worn and tired, exhausted but steady, she birthed baby Asher. In that moment, the room fell silent as we watched Asher meet his family for the first time.
It doesn’t get more real than a home birth. A beautiful testament to the power of a woman, the love of a husband and father, and the bond between a mother and her children.
